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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

What Drives Individuals To Write

February 26, 2011

Why does a writer need to have some tried and tested tricks up his or her sleeve? They become very useful when such a writer hit a writing drought due to writer blocks even though not all people acknowledge that they exist.

Not planning is planning to fail. Plan the time to write and stick by your plan.

Nothing starts perfect. Why cross a bridge before you reach it. Criticize when you are done writing.

Step by step approach is the way to go. Writing in manageable chunks is this approach. Learn to give you brain downtime to get creative .for example you cannot write all your Christmas notes and birthday cards all at once they need number of days to get done.

The use of deadlines is another trick. Set the deadlines and once you beat them always remember to reward yourself. For example you may set a goal to write 2 letters in 45 minutes and once you accomplish that take 10 minutes coffee break before embarking on the next project. This will take you a long way.

What are the feelings of the recipients? What impression does my potential employer get? What about that person I care about how does this make them feel? Remembering why you are writing makes you to Cleary express yourself.

A lot of people suffer some form of writer’s block some points in their lives and the reasons for that are very many. But fear, anxiety and worries about saying wrong things can accelerate frustrations for the blocks.

How do you relax wonder why I ask? This is the final tip to dealing with writers’ block. Whether simple meditation or a physical exercise just do what you to feel relaxed and you mind will reap the benefits. The exercise can be very useful in this regard to calm down your muscles and alleviate the extra stress on the body. For me swimming does the magic.

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Ideas To Become A Great Author

February 9, 2011

A writer’s dream is to land himself a bestselling novel but only the best writers are able to do that. So, for you to get your own bestselling novel, you need to work out on your own set of writing skills. Here are some points on how you can develop your writing skills.

Decide to be better. It is always up to you if you want to be better at something and if you want to do good on writing then set yourself up to be good at improving your skills in writing.

Find a writer’s group near you and join them. This group will consist of writers who have experience over the years and have what it takes to help you boost your writing abilities. Get to know them very well and submit yourself to their training.

Write regularly to train your brain and your hands to write. The more you write the more you will exercise your brain to squeeze out more words from it for you to write. Get in touch with your inner Shakespeare and grab a pen.

There is only so much you can do with writing but it also has its limits. For you to get better, you will have to pick up a book and read. Moreso, you will be able to get some ideas on how you can write better too.

Enroll in a class. What better way to master the art of writing than to seek professional help from an English professor or a famous writer. Find some writing classes near you and get yourself enrolled.

When writing, you need to express the words that are from your mind but that is not always the case. You may be good at expressing your thoughts but you also need to be good at writing it correctly. Learn proper grammar and spelling too.

It will take a lot of time and effort for you to succeed in writing but if you work on it on a daily basis, you will reach a point where you feel you are good enough to write your own novel.

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An Interesting Character Will Attract More People To Read Your Story

February 6, 2011

What readers either those who do it as a hobby or just to improve their comprehension in a specific language love is reading stories that have characters that encourage them to guess and be creative all the time, i.e. a character who manages to play more than one role in the story will encourage them t read more and more of the story.

If you are able to create your story to be inexplicable, then you will sure catch the readers mind and encourage him to read more and more of your books.

This is so especially if you make the character do something totally different than what the reader expects him/her to d according to his/her role. Say for example an old woman especially a grandmother with kids cheating on two young boys.

Or another example, the police are the ones people rely on for security yet you change their characters and tell how the police are involved in numerous crimes, or someone is involved in different home breaking until he gets caught only to discover that it is one of their faithful neighbors who has been doing all this, not because he likes it but he is trying to help his own father.

It is not necessarily that you allow the bad guy in the book to always play the bad roles instead, you can also provide a good role that the plays contrary to the reader so that you can continue to keep the reader guessing.

If it is the old people, the society expects him/her to rest yet in the book you can give her an active role to play, a role that you think should be played by the youth.

Let’s say you have the grandmother going water skiing and bungee jump, or better still she dyes her hair and applies make up all over just like a teen. If it is the grandpa, he goes on skating with the grandchildren and in fact beats them in skating.

This will ensure that your readers continue reading your books over and over since they are not able to get what they expect and instead they get something different.

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Tips To Turn Into An Interesting Writer

November 7, 2010

A writer needs to have an interesting story but how can they do that? Creating an interesting character can be a good way to do it, a character that can surprise the reader is an even better way.

Add a little mystery to keep the pages turning and the reader will keep coming back for more.

Having the character do something with shock value will excite the reader even more. The single grandma has two boyfriends she juggles but keeps a secret till one day she gets caught. The police seem to be the good guys and then suddenly they are the bad guy in the story. Someone is breaking into homes and no one can figure out who, then he gets caught and it’s the neighborhood 10 year old trying to raise money for his dad’s lawyer, now they both need one.

The bully in school picks on this one kid relentlessly until he finds out that his dad is beating him too now he feels bad and takes the kid under his wing. A bank robber takes all the cash from the bank but when the customers try to give him their money he doesn’t take it, “I’m just robbing the bank not you good people.” Hey Jesse James did it why not your bank robber. Just because he’s a bad guy doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart.

Grandma can be bad sometimes, and grandpa well he’s got his secrets too. They don’t have to be the picture of virtue just because they are the older characters in the story.

The elderly neighbor man loves to read the newspaper but can’t afford it so he steals the neighbors’ paper every day at 5 am just after it’s delivered. Grandma has glaucoma and smokes pot that she grows in her back yard vegetable garden.

Finding ways to change what the common reader expects to find in a book will make it more appealing than the ordinary same old stories in most books. Laughter is a good thing and shock is a great way to wake up a reader and keep them coming back for more. Making your story closer to life can make your story unpredictable just as life is.

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Few Tips For You To Improve Your Skill In Copywriting

August 30, 2010

Copy writing for the average writer is sort of a scary venture. It is different and sometimes intimidating. But do not let it get to you; you can overcome this and become a great copywriter. Here are a few little hints that can help you learn this new skill.

Start by eliminating the junk from your writing; the foolishness has got to go. The thing that kills a lot of good copy is a cute little nothing that turns the reader off. If your writing is full of crazy humor, then they will not take you seriously and you will fail to get the result you deserve.

The fact is that you are in the business of detailing a product. Not dazzling your college professor. Your content must be the fact. If your writing is filled with cute junk this is going to turn off the reader. They have limited time and want only the facts.

Second, your writing needs to be conversational. Do not add a lot of flowery words. And avoid professional terms that may confuse rather than sell. Keep your work like you would communicate with a friend. Just keep the grammar right.

Build trust in yourself and in what you are selling. If you do not build trust, the goal of selling will fall. You need to establish yourself as a likable human that is straight forward and honest.

Fourth, get someone else to build credibility for you. This can be done in the form of testimonials of people who have used the product and like it. The more of these within reason, the better. Several are good. Just be sure that each one does not bring up some objection to the product and that each one lifts the product.

If you are going to be good at copy writing then you need to practice. As you practice it will come easier and you will learn all the little things that make people rush to order.

Copy writing is not a hard thing. it just comes with its own rule so follow the suggestions and have yourself a great writing experience.

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Here Are Some Reasons To Read A Book Containing Blonde Jokes

August 14, 2010

For good readers, the chance to get hold of material containing exciting funny stories is not to be passed over easily. For those who have not yet got your copy of 100% Blonde Jokes, the time has come to take action. This collection of funny stories has been compiled by a person named R. Cristi who has managed to compile some truly entertaining funny stories related to a form of women that everyone loves: blondes.

This in fact a book that tells you some truly hilarious jokes which deal with different subjects including on Christmas and New Years Eve and also April Fools Day. Though most of the funny tales in the book are meant for Little Johnny, some might also not be appropriate for him.

Fortunately, the humor contained in the pages of 100% Blonde Jokes is clean and is certainly going to elicit many laughs. There are numerous wonderful examples of fun humor including the one that goes something like this: two blonde headed females are sitting out on the beach and talking together when one of these asks whether the moon is farther away or Florida.

This is certainly a volume that contains some truly outstanding one line jokes and there are several that are quite long and very funny as well. A good example of the humor contained in this volume show up in a short joke: when asked which is farther, Florida or the Moon, the fair haired beauty responds, can you actually see Florida?

This is only one example of all the funny stories that fill the pages of Hundred Percent Blonde Jokes: The Best Dumb, Funny, Clean, Short and long Blonde Jokes Book. This is one volume of funny jokes that you will want to check out.

Now, this is just a good example of the funny stories contained in Hundred Percent Blonde Jokes. If it is something humorous that you would like to read about blondes, then this is actually the book for you.

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Where To Find The Perfect Blonde Joke Book

August 5, 2010

A perfectly-timed joke can make the difference in the world. It can mean the difference between a stressful situation and one that is more calm. When you’re conscious using a joke book, humor can be a wonderful tool to help people adjust or relax in difficult circumstances.

One of the most popular jokes are those about blondes. Thankfully, these people are usually very well-tempered and happy to share a self-deprecating joke. You’ll find a number of material simply by searching through some well-known online stores.

I’m sure you have heard a few blonde jokes in your lifetime, especially if you’ve talked to more than ten people. They are a very popular category of jokes, and thankfully, the subjects of those have funny personalities, and don’t mind poking some fun at themselves. People like that make it enjoyable for everyone, and lighten the mood in terms of difficult situations.

One of the better sources for jokes that fit every age group is one called 100% Blonde Jokes. It features a wonderful variety of clean, funny jokes which you can use in almost any situation. Although you can certainly find some on the web, sometimes it’s easier to have it all in one place.

When you have recommendations from a friend, then they are certainly worth checking out. However, there are some well-known book stores on the web that can offer amazing deals, including shipping at either a discounted or free rate. Besides that, if you choose to purchase more than one book at the same time, you can combine discounts and get them for a lower rate.

Next time you are on the hunt for a great joke book, check out this recommendation. When you really need something to lighten the mood, you’ll have the right material when you need it. And who knows? You could be the new comedian on call for your family and friend’s gatherings!

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Blonde Joke Book Is Stuffed With Good Clean Fun

July 30, 2010

The majority of us enjoy a good joke occasionally. It’s hard to find ones which are good that you can tell before anyone. This blonde jokes book is chock full of blonde jokes without words or situations that are explicit.

Personally, I have no problem with jokes that have swear words. I enjoy ones that have been x-rated as well. But that’s not the case for everyone. So it’s nice to learn a few jokes which you can use facing any group of people.

It might just be my age but I find it boring to hear jokes that are full of repetitive swear words as if that alone is sufficient to make the joke humorous. It really isn’t. Jokes without trying for real humor are just tiring to be controlled by.

These jokes are the cute type. They are light and funny. Of course, they do poke fun at blondes. But they do so in a way that doesn’t feel mean. They are just good, clean, funny jokes. Contrary to popular belief, they do exist. At least in this book they do.

I’m usually pretty cynical when I read jokes. I have become so jaded, I assume that I’m not going to like them. Much system, I laughed at these types of. In some cases, I was laughing out loud to the extent that people around me had to ask what was so funny.

Most blonde jokes feature women. I realized this because some of the ones here have blonde men. I had to read these twice as I assumed they were about females and then they didn’t make sense.

If you only like jokes that have adult humor or are about adult situations, this is not the right book. But for just plain funny jokes that are clean, I recommend it highly. It’s a treat to find jokes that you can share with everyone you know.

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Finding The Optimum Joke Book

July 22, 2010

If you want to hone your skills as a joke teller, if you wish to sharpen your wit and keep a nice database of great jokes for any occasion in your head, it’s a good idea to, well, do a little studying, you might say. You’d be surprised how many new ideas can come your way while just flipping through a humor book or two. Here’s how to start.

The Classic Stand Ups

The classic stand up comics have put out some interesting work, both as biographers and in simply collecting their favorite jokes. Recommended would be How to Tell Dirty Jokes and Influence People by Lennie Bruce in terms of non-fiction goes, while anything with jokes by Rodney Dangerfield or Don Rickles is great for humor’s sake. Anything by Steven Wright is gold, too.

Niche Joke Books

Niche joke books are generally pretty hit and miss, so you have to go on the individual reviews. Most of them contain jokes that you’ve already heard many, many times over, but there are several real gems out there, like 100% Blond Jokes, which might be the best in its niche, and serves as a great resource if you ever want to rewrite a joke or two to be about each of your less savvy friends.

Comedy on DVD

Stand up comics on DVD are an easy way to study delivery. There are a few rules to telling jokes, and all the greats follow them. First, recognize that you can’t be funny without funny material. Second, tell the joke to make others laugh, not just to hog the conversation, and third, a terrible comic can ruin a good joke, but a bad joke can rarely be saved unless your name is George Carlin or Richard Pryor. Just keep these basic rules in mind and you ought to do alright.

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Dumb Blond Jokes

June 10, 2010

Here are some hilarious blonde joke from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘ by R. Cristi

Non-Stop Flight On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class. But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land. “Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear. “I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class. “What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot. To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

How Do I Get Across That River? A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her. “How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly. The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”

Mind Telling Me the Time? Blonde: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” Woman: “It’s 11:25PM.” Blonde: (confused look on face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.”

Speeding Ticket A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.” The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

Two Blondes In Heaven One blond says to another, “how did you die”? “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful” says the first blonde. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second blonde. “You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping.” “How about you, how did you die?” asked the second blonde. “I had a heart attack,” says the first blonde. “You see I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died. The second blonde shakes her head. “What a pity … if you had only looked in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.

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