Posts Tagged ‘fun’

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Finding The Optimum Joke Book

If you want to hone your skills as a joke teller, if you wish to sharpen your wit and keep a nice database of great jokes for any occasion in your head, it’s a good idea to, well, do a little studying, you might say. You’d be surprised how many new ideas can come your way while just flipping through a humor book or two. Here’s how to start.

The Classic Stand Ups

The classic stand up comics have put out some interesting work, both as biographers and in simply collecting their favorite jokes. Recommended would be How to Tell Dirty Jokes and Influence People by Lennie Bruce in terms of non-fiction goes, while anything with jokes by Rodney Dangerfield or Don Rickles is great for humor’s sake. Anything by Steven Wright is gold, too.

Niche Joke Books

Niche joke books are generally pretty hit and miss, so you have to go on the individual reviews. Most of them contain jokes that you’ve already heard many, many times over, but there are several real gems out there, like 100% Blond Jokes, which might be the best in its niche, and serves as a great resource if you ever want to rewrite a joke or two to be about each of your less savvy friends.

Comedy on DVD

Stand up comics on DVD are an easy way to study delivery. There are a few rules to telling jokes, and all the greats follow them. First, recognize that you can’t be funny without funny material. Second, tell the joke to make others laugh, not just to hog the conversation, and third, a terrible comic can ruin a good joke, but a bad joke can rarely be saved unless your name is George Carlin or Richard Pryor. Just keep these basic rules in mind and you ought to do alright.

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The Global Picture Of Comic Book Industry

There are a vast number of comic books to choose since their inception. When someone thinks about comic books, they think of everyday comics and their heroes in this country.However, comic books do not always come from the United States. The vast majority of the world has comic books. The European Union houses copious amounts of comic books. France, British, Italy are just some of the different nations that partake.

The British comic books are not as well know as their American counterpart. One of the more popular comic books that hailed from Britain was the Judge Dredd series brought to life by Sylvester Stallone. Although it brought to light a comic book character from Britain, most people did not know it originated from there. Marvel comics opened up an office in Britain in 1972. DC and Dark Horse comics did not open up offices there until the 1990′s. It seems the English enjoy our comic book heroes as well as we do.

Italian comic books are strongly influenced by other countries. They prefer more adventure like stories that tell tales. Unlike America, where once a week you can find a new edition, Italian comic books come out monthly and are usually longer in length. The Italian comic book publishers immensely enjoy Walt Disney characters. They are the largest manufacturers of Walt Disney figures, other than the United States.

The Japanese also love comic books. In Japan, they are referred to as Magna. They are known for their exaggerated facial features, which were inspired by American authors. Japan had requested help from comic book artists from America to go over to learn contours, shapes and colors to help revise their comic books. The result was the exponential growth of comic books.

It seems that America has an enormous influence of comic books from across the world. The result implies that everyone, regardless of the place you reside, needs a type of pictorial entertainment. The pursuit of amusement with a glossy cover, colored pages depicting figures that face immeasurable odds, solely enhance the good thing about reading comic books. The world needs a launch of many such books, and through the sequential formats they supply, there shall be a never ending deluge of comic books to read.

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8 Super Selling Things To Do Before You Write Your Book Sales Letter

Every marketing campaign should begin with a plan. Sales letters are not any different. No plan and you might miss the mark of good sales you are aiming for. Set a road map that you may follow to explosive sales each time with each book. Focus and purpose your sales letter with these preparation tips. Then get prepared to promote greater than you dreamed.

You want to ensure you pin point what your prospects and readers are looking for and give it to them. Discover out what their burning questions are and reply them in your sales copy and product. Earlier than you write the benefits of your merchandise it’s essential to know the issues that readers face.

Develop a list to assist your prospect visualize using your product. Answer the questions: “When will your prospect use your product?”, “How will they use it,” “Why will they use it?” For instance, if your new product was an e book, will they read it on their desktop, laptop or will they print it out. Will they relax on the sofa and browse your insightful tips. Maybe they’ll print them and read on the way to work or throughout lunch break.

Write down what your sell offers or possibilities are.This is where plenty of small business professionals miss out. They fail to create good sell offers. Create your sell offers gives opportunities before you even write your gross sales letter so that they can be woven into your back end pages and sales messages.

Examine their FAQs, what are their bonus gifts, what is their guarantee, what is their up sell, if any? I made this step last so you wouldn’t be tempted to just be a copy cat. But you can use your competitor’s sales pitch as a measuring stick. How did you measure up? Did you whiz past; leaving them in a cloud of dust? Or did you miss a few things that you will now add after examining their pages?Preparation for your super sales maker will give you the competitive edge you have been looking for. Put these steps into place before you even write your sales letter and sell more. Enjoy the journey and life is made easier.

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Dumb Blond Jokes

Here are some hilarious blonde joke from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘ by R. Cristi

Non-Stop Flight On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class. But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land. “Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear. “I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class. “What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot. To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

How Do I Get Across That River? A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her. “How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly. The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”

Mind Telling Me the Time? Blonde: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” Woman: “It’s 11:25PM.” Blonde: (confused look on face) “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.”

Speeding Ticket A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.” The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

Two Blondes In Heaven One blond says to another, “how did you die”? “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful” says the first blonde. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second blonde. “You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping.” “How about you, how did you die?” asked the second blonde. “I had a heart attack,” says the first blonde. “You see I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died. The second blonde shakes her head. “What a pity … if you had only looked in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.

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Old comic Super Heroes

Superheroes are make-believe characters give birth to by man that describes men with special powers. These powers are largely put into good use to supply protection to the society from malignant and crime. The term superhero was coined back in the year 1917 and the idea of bringing about a superhero comic book occurred in the year 1938 that came from America and has crossed over all around the world and been faced with a lot of fan following since that time. Following are the list of the most powerful superheroes till date :

Spiderman : After Superman if there’s one comic character that has another giant fan following it is Spiderman. Spiderman is the outline of a commoner who has no identity for himself in the society and doesn’t have the confidence to socialize but all of a sudden is bit by a radioactive spider in a science museum and unearths he isn’t a normal human anymore. He takes superhuman strength, ability to stick to most surfaces and produce spider webs.

Superman : A leader of superhero comics, Superman brought in the superhero revolution. Without reference to all the inheritors Superman still doesn’t fail to form history be it through comics, animation or photos. His superpowers are superb whereby he is going to be able to fly to heights that may go beyond space and he is going to survive in vacuum. He has x-ray and telescopic vision that also lets him shoot powerful laser like beams. He’s the ultimate Man of Steel who still is as famous as he was when this title of his was began.

Batman : Batman is one character who is unique and unlike other superheroes he doesn’t magically posses superhuman powers but has developed and invented with the help of his brilliant and intellectual self, gadgets that lets him do superhuman tasks. He is’s a brilliant tactician and strategist. His mind is an excellent computer. Also he’s an expert at many karate skills, hand to hand weapons and close quarters combat. By day his real identity is in picture. He’s's pictured as a millionaire called Bruce Wayne. It is with this vast wealth that he’s's ready to design his very own armory of technical gadgets, vehicles and weapons.

Wolverine : He has a lot of animal like characters assigned to his mutant gene. His senses are heightened ; he tracks anything by smell and spots foes in the vicinity. He has amazing healing power when faced by cuts, injuries, bullet injuries or broken bones. He has got claws that allow him to chop through any possible surface and makes him even more proof against damage.

The Hulk : Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk and becomes a unstoppablebeast with unlimited strength, power and destruction capacities. His attacks have the impact of a thunder. For his size he’s intensely fast and can cover great distances in shorter time intervals. He has high endurance and self healing capacities.

The Hulk : Bruce Banner turns into The Hulk and becomes an irresistiblebeast with unlimited strength, power and destruction capacities. His attacks have the impact of a thunder. For his size he is intensely fast and can cover great distances in shorter time intervals. He has high endurance and self healing capacities.

Comic Book Superheroes are a great way to pass the time and also are starting beginning to be investments as well. Some Old Comic books have sold for thousands of dollars. Next time you’re at the flea market, keep your eyes open for Old Comic Books

Unseen Academicals, Terry Pratchett

Best-selling author Terry Pratchett’s most recent (2009) novel Unseen Academicals is a satire on the phenomenon of European football (soccer), plus a number of other social activities that often go along with it. For that reason, the book may have a greater appeal to a UK audience than in America; especially since one of the main themes is football hooliganism, a distinct UK phenomenon.

But the book is really about much more than football (soccer). It’s about the many foibles and follies of human nature, which are Universal, European or American alike. It is also a novel about every conceivable variety of pie (and its connection to football); fashion super models (and their connections to football super stars); as well as about orcs and goblins (connection to football unknown).

In characteristic Terry Pratchett fashion, the Discworld is like a funhouse mirror image of our own world; exactly the same, only more so. Instead of human cheerleaders, there are naiads dancing on the sidelines of the football field, and cart-tail vendors take the place of tail-gate markets.

The book has many heroes, in particular a goblin-turned-orc by the name of Mr. Nutt. Because he’s one of only a handful of surviving orcs on the Discworld, two of the world’s most powerful leaders take him under their wings to help him save himself as well as his dying race.

It bears mentioning that the two leaders in question, Lord Vetinari and Lady Margolotta have been at this before. Their previous projects have included rock trolls, werewolves, golems, and vampires, all of which they assisted in becoming integrated and accepted members of human society.

Mr. Nutt gets sent from Lady Margolotta’s Uberwald to Lord Vetinari’s Ankh-Morpork and assigned the task to accumulate ‘worth’ in human society. In doing so, Nutt gains many loyal friends and admirers in his workplace, the Unseen University. Co-worker Trev Likely goes to any length to defend his orc friend, and the head mistress of the Night Kitchen, Miss Glenda Sugarbean (creator of the crusty onion pie) becomes a staunch admirer, which later leads to a budding romance.

After demonstrating his knack for strategic thinking to his superiors at Unseen University, Mr. Nutt gets appointed as coach for the school’s floundering football team. And so a string of events begins to unfold.

You don’t need to be a soccer fan to enjoy Unseen Academicals. It is also a parody on clothing fashion, food (in particular pies), and the general vagaries of human nature. So if you are into wearing clothes, eating food, or being human, then this book will provide you plenty of opportunities for laughter.

Mrs. Hellman resides in North Carolina with her husband and their three boys. A copywriter by profession, she writes book reviews as a hobby. Visit the website The Light Fantastic, where you can order Unseen Academicals and all the other 36 novels in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.

Terry Pratchett: The Light Fantastic

Relatively unknown in America, Terry Pratchett was the number one best-selling author in Great Britain during the 1990′s, and only J. K. Rowling has sold more books than Pratchett in the UK since 2000. The Light Fantastic is the classic second novel in his Discworld series from back in the 1980′s when it all began.

While the events of Pratchett’s novels take place on an imaginary Discworld, they are really parodies on various cultural phenomena from our own world. The Light Fantastic makes delightful fun of the religious fanaticism that can arise from the belief that the world is coming to an end. Book burning bonfires abound, lynch mobs chase after the unconverted, and frightened hordes flee the cities like rats off a sinking ship.

Through the book, we follow the fortunes of a “failed” wizard named Rincewind who possesses a singular talent for surviving by running away. And run he does, because practically everything frightens Rincewind.

That is, everything except for the one thing that has got everyone else in a state of panic: The Red Star appearing in the sky that keeps growing brighter and hotter by the hour. Other than Rincewind, the only other person unconcerned about the new celestial threat is his friend Twoflower, who says of Rincewind: “If there was anything at all to be frightened about, he’d be frightened. But he’s not. The star is just about the only thing I’ve ever seen him not frightened of. If he’s not worried, then take if it from me, there’s nothing to worry about.”

In the end, it turns out that Twoflower is right in using Rincewind as the barometer for any real threat to the world as they know it. Rincewind is, after all, the Discworld’s leading authority on when to panic.

Rincewind and Twoflower’s adventurous journey includes saving an unappreciative sacrificial virgin, visiting a forest of talking trees and a lair of friendly trolls, flying through the sky on a rock levitated by druid magic and through the universe in a magic gift store, and narrowly escaping the scythe of Death in the netherworlds: Things that are the stuff of myths and legends in our reality but almost commonplace on the Discworld.

But what the story really boils down to is a powerful magic spell that’s hiding in Rincewind’s brain, biding its time and waiting for the Red Star to appear, at which time it plans to reunite with seven other ancient spells that are to be read together for the purpose of turning the path of Great A’Tuin away from the menacing Red Star.

Great A’Tuin, needless to say, is the enormous sea turtle carrying the Discworld on its back through the Universe. Just in case you were of the mistaken impression that all planets were spherical and revolved around stars.

The Light Fantastic is British humor at its very best. Even those who normally don’t like British humor would likely be hard pressed to not laugh out loud while immersed in this novel.

Britt Hellman resides in North Carolina with her husband and three children. A professional copywriter, she writes book reviews as a hobby. In the late 1980′s, her husband turned her onto the books by Terry Pratchett. Visit her site The Light Fantastic for more information on Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, from The Color of Magic (1983) to Unseen Academicals (2009).

Zombie Attacks Continue

Nothing is more peaceful that grazing across beautiful acres of lush green land. Until the zombies, that’s right, zombies pop out of the ground faster than weeds! What to do? Zombie season is here and nothing is worse than not being ready.

Seth Grahame-Smith gave an insight to zombie preparation by taking a twist on Jane Austen’s book, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The mystery of who is undead and who isn’t accompanies the basic story line. Don’t worry, the romantic story remains unblemished, except for the additional zombie action sequences.

The Bennett daughters remain in their same character, but are also trained zombie killers. Darcy is well known for his mass slaughter of the undead. The whole reason Netherfield Park becomes vacant is because of an unfortunate zombie attack. I found these to be humorous additions to the story indeed.

My initial response was very excited about this, but the more I read it, I unfortunately saw very little literary merit to it. Come to think of it, zombie movies don’t really have any value either. It’s fun and unique, but frankly it is a wee bit boring, even with zombies. There are some places that zombies just shouldn’t be, and Pemberly is one of them.

Seth Grahame-Smith obviously had just one intention with writing this. He wanted to take a classic tasteful novel and turn into a manfest. It would be like me writing a novel about James Bond, but instead of him being an international secret agent, he’s making potpourri. I admire your ambition and unique ideas, Seth, but Jane Austen is the novelist of the century for a reason. Read it for yourselves, but never let go of the original.

Zombies aren’t just bent on battering literature this season. Fluxx creators have added to their clever collection, Zombie Fluxx! Hidden in the deck are zombies you don’t want, and must destroy.

If, for example, you obtain the brain card and the baseball bat card, you just might be the winner! Watch out, though, because the goal of the game can change faster then your friends turn into zombies. One goal, for example requires you to have nine zombies and the baseball bat to form your own zombie baseball team! Regardless, every game is different and fun.

The newest version of Zombie Fluxx comes equipped with Larry the Zombie. Larry is the equivalent of the Old Maid, if you have him, you lose. Larry is just the zombie that keep popping out of the beautiful green grass no matter how many times to bludger him back down.

The best way to fight back the undead filth is to ensure your land isn’t saturated with zombie corpses. Not just anyone can guarantee that to you. Buying your land online might seem just as scary, but you can trust the friends at Land for Sale Online. Click the link below to find the zombie-free property you’ve always wanted.

Haylee Landford is a zombietologist currently doing research for Land For Sale where you are guaranteed zombie-free property!

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